20truths: bunch of wack jobs
by Lily10
Summary: Twenty truths about various characters, relationships, and pairings. [Updated: The Turks]
1. AVALANCHE

20truths: bunch of wack jobs

**1) **Once, they left a town and walked fifteen minutes in relative silence. It felt different somehow and another five minutes passed before they realized that they had left Yuffie behind.

"Best damn fifteen minutes of my life!" Cid declared.

**2) **As they travel more and more together, they begin to notice at least one bad habit or quirk about each other that becomes a source of many minor spats or a general sense of annoyance and just plain wtf! looks.

At inns, Vincent takes hour long showers, Tifa eats with her fingers and believe it or not, Aeris is a total bitch in the mornings.

Barret snores, Cid talks with his mouth full and Red is obsessed with chasing pigeons.

Cait Sith makes up songs and sings it like the yowling cat it is, while Cloud is scared of chickens ("Don't ask." he mumbles) and Yuffie talks in her sleep ("Can't her mouth ever stop moving?" Barret wonders).

**3) **Tifa is convinced that Vincent is part vampire. She has an irrational urge to yank his cloak away and expose him fully to the sunlight but always chickens out.

**4) **One time, Aeris loses her footing on some rocks which prompts Cloud to reach out to steady her. His left hand lightly brushes against her right breast accidentally, and Aeris has never seen anyone grow so red or stutter so bad in her life. It wouldn't have been so bad if Yuffie hadn't seen the whole thing and proceeded to spend the rest of the day mocking Cloud (combined with Aeris' playful teasing) until he, in his embarrassment, trips on a rock and falls gracelessly into a river.

**5) **Red absolutely hates it when people treat him like a pet dog.

He loves it when people scratches him behind the ears though (but pretends he doesn't).

**6) **Yuffie is extremely miffed at the fact that _everyone_ seems to jump whenever they turn and find Vincent standing behind them as quiet and still as the grave and yet _she_ (a friggin' ninja for god's sake) can't even get a simple "eep" after she leaps down from ceilings and go, "BOO"!

No one bothers to tell her that they could always hear faint "_nyuk nyuk nuking" _from above.

**7) **Cloud was secretly pleased when Don Corneo picked him over Aeris and Tifa.

**8) **Cid will never admit it, but being with these bunch of wack jobs makes him feel young and somehow, his dreams seem more possible than ever.

**9) **The first time Tifa steps inside the Nibelheim-that-was-not-hers, she has to stop and throw up on the side of the dirt road as Aeris rubs her back because although it wasn't _her_ Nibelheim, it looked pretty damn close.

**10) **Barret still has the white sailor suit he wore on the ship to Costa del sol.

**11) **Aeris is the only one who thinks Cait Sith and its moogle are cute. Since she's not a morning person, everyone usually leaves her alone during that particular time of day. Sometimes however, Cait Sith goes up to her and does a goofy dance that always manages to make her crack a smile.

**12) **Yuffie complains a lot. From how stupid the chocobo she's riding on is, to Aeris' apparent lack of fashion sense to how ugly Vincent's boots are. Yuffie whines, whines, whines until everyone develops the familiar throbbing of the temple areas and Cid threatens to shove his spear somewhere inappropriate.

**13) **Aeris has a hunch though, that the formula to Yuffie's twisted feelings were really:

High complaints equals High affection

Her suspicions are confirmed when she catches Yuffie feeding her Chocobo extra greens and calling it George.

**14) **Barret does not like himself most of the time. He knows it's his fault Corel was burnt down. That Myrna, Biggs, Wedge and Jessie are dead and Sector 7 was destroyed.

It's only when Marlene is perched on his shoulders and saying that beautiful word _papa,_ that Barret knows he's done at least something right.

**15) **When her mother dies, Tifa falls off a mountain and sleeps for seven days. She wakes up to her father crying and he hugs and plants kisess on her face for a long, long time.

"It's all that boy Cloud's fault." he tells her when she asks him what happened, because she doesn't remember climbing up the Nibel Mountains to see mother's spirit. Doesn't remember anything but the fall. Twisting through the air hopelessly like a bird that's just been shot. Like a bird who forgot how to fly.

Tifa thinks she's been scared of falling ever since.

**16) **The Forgotten City is cold and so is the hard marble floor Aeris is kneeling on. For a moment, she does not think she can summon Holy because her hands are shaking and she's scared that she will fail her duty as the last remaining Ancient. What if Sephiroth came and killed her before she could finish praying? What if she can't pray hard enough? But then Aeris thinks of Cloud and realizes if she can have enough faith in him, then she knew she had enough faith in herself as well.

**17) **Later, Aeris feels a rush of wind, of cold steel and herself smiling through it all.

**18) **No one can sleep or talk after Aeris dies. Cait Sith stops dancing.

**19) **Vincent expects to feel something after he deals the final blow to Hojo. But there's nothing and he wonders if Barret felt the same way when Shinra fell or if Tifa already knew what would become of her and that was why staying with a mako poisoned Cloud was more important then worrying about Sephiroth. After you've ate and slept and breathed _revenge revenge revenge _all your life and it becomes the reason why you get up in the morning, what happens when you finally extract it?

It's as empty as the time he spent in his coffin.

**20) **The moment Cloud realizes he isn't alone is when he wakes up in Mideel with his hand in Tifa's and everyone's faces peering down at him in relief. "Oh." Cloud says. _Oh._


	2. Turks

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**1.** Reno is notorious for giving bad gifts. On Rude's birthday, Tseng got him three new pairs of sunglasses, Elena baked a lovely strawberry cake and Reno bought socks. Sure they were cute with the little flying chocobos and all... but really. Socks.

Reno says it's practical. Elena says he's cheap. (Rude privately agrees)

**2.** Elena was a tad depressed over the fact that an ugly, fat perverted idiot picked some skinny ninja brat over her.

**3.** Reno made sure to step on Corneo's hand extra hard. You don't mess with a Turk. Even though said Turk might be a bit of a babbling airhead.

**4.** Once, after killing a family of three (a mom, dad, son) Reno spots another little boy hiding under the bed. For a split second he is willing to pretend he hadn't seen him-- until he catches his reflection on a mirror, sees that annoying blue suit-- and quickly aims and shoots.

**5.** Both Reno and Elena know that Rude has a crush on Tifa, and they tease him mercilessly from the way he goes easy on her in battle, to the fact that he has memorized the file on her. They will probably continue to tease him until the end of time.

**6.** Back some time ago, Reno used to hit on Elena while she was still a secretary at Shinra Inc. When she worked her way up and eventually became a Turk, he pushed her around a lot. Yelled and critized and rubbed her face in all the nasty parts being a Turk meant until he was pretty sure she went home crying most nights.

**7.** The funny thing was, Elena never gave up like Reno thought she would. He shoved her to the ground and she would get right back up again; dusting herself off and straightening out all the wrinkles in her uniform in the process. It was that, more than anything, that got her his respect.

**8.** When Rude and Reno meet for the first time, the former barely said a word which prompted the latter to call him "Rude" in the first place. Needless to say, the nickname stuck and Reno, for the life of him, can never remember Rude's real name.

**9.** It's Stuart.

..Yeah.

**10.** Fortunately for Elena, Reno's nickname for her does not stick.

**11.** It's motormouth.

**12.** Tseng truly thought he was going to die in the Temple of Ancients. But then he remembered he had that dinner with Elena to go to and he manages to stagger to his feet.

**13.** You don't ever want a bored Reno on your hands. Last time that happened, Rude's ass was stuck in his chair for twelve hours and Elena was seen sporting green hair. The incident sparked a pranking war in which Elena and Rude teamed up against Reno.

**14.** It finally ended when someone got all three with a brilliant combination of exploding pens, itching powder and lots and lots of honey.

**15.** Rude thinks it was Tseng. He swears he heard the man emit a faint yet sinister chuckle when Rude delivered a report to him the day before.

**16.** After Reno drops the plate on Sector 7, he goes to a bar and gets drunk silly even though he really should've been recovering from his injuries.

**17.** The first time Elena saw Tseng, she dropped the stack of papers she was holding because _Holy fuck this guy is gorgeous_. She was still a lowly secretary back then and as she scrambled to pick all the papers up, he bent down to help. Then he nodded at her briskly and walked off before she could thank him.

**18.** The first time Reno saw Tseng, he made a stupid wisecrack and suddenly found himself making out with the ground with a gun pressed to the back of his head. All he could think was, _Holy fuck this guy is dangerous_.

**19.** The first time Rude saw Tseng, he thought his boss looked sort of like a girl.

He wisely keeps this to himself.

**20.** On the night Shinra falls, they are no longer Turks but _RenoRudeElena_. Meteor is hanging over their head and for the first time, they can taste the possibility of death lingering in the air. But they do not mind very much because at least they'll end the way they began.

Together.


End file.
